At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
