I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
