ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize