So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
