I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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