How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
