You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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