i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
