i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
