fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I want a musical about memes.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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