I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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