Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
