the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
