I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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