Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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