I am spending my child support on dildos
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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