it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
