Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
