i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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