Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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