she was so not down for the gang bang
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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