the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
