i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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