i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
