Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
