She's JV to your varsity
wat bout pragnant strippers??
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
