eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I would ride that face into the sunset
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
