I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dignity is for republicans.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
