Your face is a jimmy john
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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