his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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