Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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