went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
