the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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