I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
