You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
