And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
did i walk over a car last night?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
