Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
