There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
