hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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