I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The air was thick with penises
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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