You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
