Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Fuck appropriateness.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
