The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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