Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
