we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
