whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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