i jhust puked up my retainher.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
