So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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