I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
