she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
foreskin is a definite game changer
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
