I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
