We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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